Pasta Mountain
by PrussianBitch345
Summary: Feliciano and Flavio team up and take Germany to the mystical Pasta mountain , how will Ludwig handle to annoying Italians at once? and will he survive the bread-stick cave? complete crack. 2p's used. rated M for language and mild sexual themes.


**_AN: read the authors note at the end for details about the video this is based off of. Rated M for language and sexual themes._**

 ** _Enjoy~_**

"Veeeeeeeeeeeee~ Ludwiiig." Called Feliciano as he waltzed into the German's office, finding him sleeping in his chair. "Ve~ Ludwig wake uuup."

"Ya Germany! You silly sleepy-head, wake up!" called Flavio, Loviono's flamboyant 2p. unfortunately for Ludwig Feli and Flavio formed a quick but solid bond when the 2p's invaded and where practically joined at the hip.

Ludwig shook his head slowly to clear the grogginess from him before looking up, spotting the undeniably annoying and troublesome pair in front of him his eye's widened. "oh Gott, nicht diese beiden..." he muttered under his breath. "Can I help you?" he asked the two, raising an eyebrow expectantly. As much as he disliked Flavio, Ludwig would still do anything for his lovely (flighty) Feliciano. "you didn't light the stove on fire again did you?"

Feliciano giggled, "No Ludwig, we found a map, to pasta mountain! Pasta mountain Ludwig!" Flavio joined in then with a huge grin on his face, "Ya Luddy~ we're going to pasta mountain! Come with us Ludwig~." Feli spoke once again, "Ya Luddy! It'll be an adventure~, we're going on an adventure Ludwig!"

Ludwig resisted the urge to face palm. Pasta mountain? You have got to be kidding. "Have fun. Im going to go back to doing my paper work now…" he said, clearly dismissing the two. Unfortunately, neither of them seemed to be good at judging social ques.

"NOOO! Ludwig! You have to come _with_ us to pasta mountain!" yelled Feliciano as he jumped into Ludwig's lap, hands on his shoulders. "Ya Ludwig! Pasta mountain! It's a land of meatballs and joy, a-and joyness…" Flavio trailed off, eyes glazing over.

Ludwig felt a flush rise to his cheeks and an uncomfortable tightening in his pants as Feli began to bounce in his lap, something that was certainly not appropriate in the least. "Feli…" he began, trying to keep his voice level, "Please stop bouncing on me." he requested.

Feli only smirked, and called "Pasta Mountain Ludwig~!" giggling insanely. Ludwig began to think that Feli knew _exactly_ what he was doing, as the auburn haired Italian began to actually _grind_ against his stiffness.

"Pasta mountain~" Flavio echoed.

Ludwig had to bite back a moan as Feli continued his torturous actions. "Fine I will accompany you to Pasta mountain just pleeease stop!" he choked out.

"YAAAY" Cried both Feli and Flavio in victory as Feliciano removed himself from the Germans lap.

"I just need ten minutes and we can go…" he said, heading off towards the bathroom.

 ** _~one painfully cold shower later~_**

Ludwig ground his teeth as he walked through the woods with the two energetic Italians, who where currently switching between humming and singing the song _marukaite chikyuu_ , in every language imaginable. He could tell this would be a long day.

"Could you possibly stop singing for now?" he asked after the third hour of the same song. He was a little miffed when they ignored his request, but they did stop singing.

"Ludwig look, our first stop!" Feli exclaimed, pointing toward a cluster of rocks. Following his finger, Ludwig's eye's widened.

"Oh Gott, what did you guys put on Blackie?" Ludwig sighed exasperated at the smiling Italians. Blackie, Ludwig's beautiful and proud German Shepherd was wearing what looked to be the T-rex costume Gilbert bought for him (against Ludwig's orders) last Halloween, and overtop of that a pink frilly tutu with matching booties. 'you poor thing…' Ludwig thought. Blackie covered his muzzle with his paws and whimpered as if saying, 'please, put me out of my misery…'

"That's not Blackie silly German~" said Flavio, "It's a Liopleurodon!" chirped Feliciano, "A magical Liopleurodon~" finished Flavio. Both of them giggling madly. "he's going to guide our way to pasta mountain!" Feli said happily.

Ludwig sighed as he went to retrieve Blackie and take off the degrading pieces of fabric, so that he may walk with them, he really wanted to tell them off and go home but, he played along. "That's uh, nice. I do have to say, that if anyone were to put clothes on my dog again, I would have to kick said person out of my house…" he said casually. Not that it fazed either of them. They just continued to smile stupidly. They sat there for at least ten minutes just staring at blackie before Feli spoke up, "It has spoken!"

"He has told us the waaaaay!" cried Flavio dramatically, Ludwig looked at them like they where nuts, "He dint say anythi-, you know what, never mind." He cut himself off before following obediently.

Soon they where on a rickety old rope bridge that Ludwig wasn't aware was even in these woods, and the two (supposedly) grown men where chattering excitedly.

"Its just over this bridge Ludwig~" said Feli, "This magical bridge of hope and wonder~" finished Flavio.

Ludwig was reaching his crazy limit for the day, and his patience for their silly game was running thin, blackie was whimpering and practically wrapping himself around his master's legs. Ludwig pulled the third splinter in five minutes, out of his finger and groaned internally.

"Are you two not even the slightest bit concerned about your safety? We really shouldn't been on here right now, im not sure its safe." He groused.

Feli just tuned around and smiled. "Luuuudwig. Luuuudwig. LUUUDWIG…." This continued on for a few more second before Ludwig snapped.

"MEIN GOTT! I AM RIGHT HERE, WHAT DO YOU WANT!?"

"We're on a bridge Ludwig." Stated Feli happily.

The face palm that followed was involuntary.

 ** _Time skip~_**

"We are here!" cried Flavio, happily. Ludwig stared at the sight in-front of him. It was a huge pile of pasta, probably 7 or 8 feet high complete with meatballs and a breadstick sticking out of the top, at the base there was a hole that looked like it could fit a person or two.

"well what do you know… Pasta mountain exists…" he said in slight awe.

"pasta mountain! Pasta mountain! You fill me with tangy tomatoey goodness~!" sang Feliciano delightedly.

"Go inside the Breadstick cave Luddy~" said Flavio, with his same sweet face, "Yah Luddy, go inside the cave, mystical wonders are to behold when you enter~" Said Feli, only, he didn't quite look like himself. His hair was darker, and his eyes seemed to be bordering red. Ludwig's guard immediately went up.

"Uh no… I don't think I will…" he said quietly.

Both Flavio and Feliciano took a deep breath. "hey hey papa, could I have some wine? Hey hey mama! Hey hey mama!" they began but Ludwig cut them off, he might as well get this over with, "Fine, I will go in the cave, but just for a second!" he proclaimed, walking bravely towards the entrance.

Just before he entered Blackie bolted, yelping and whimpering, seemingly afraid of something.

"Goodbye Ludwig~" called Flavio and the man Ludwig now recognized as Luciano, Italy's 2p, waving at him, one wearing a friendly smile, the other a malicious grin, as the 'doors' to the cave began to close, showing they where solid rock.

"HOW DARE YOU! LUCIANO YOU RAT YOU BETTER NOT HARM ITALY! IF YOU HARM SO MUCH AS A HAIR ON HIS HEAD…" he threatened pounding on the now solid wall. It was pitch black, in the cave now. He couldn't see much, but what he did see, scared the living daylight out of him.

Two pools of blue, swirling with pink rings. 'Oliver…' he thought. Before everything went black.

 ** _... … … … … … … … … …_**

Ludwig woke up screaming in his office, not completely aware of his surroundings yet. Blackie looked up from his spot by his master's feet curiously. And Ludwig sighed. Just a bad dream, he smiled.

Looking to his computer he saw the cause of his dream.

He looked at blackie, "Don't ever let me watch Charlie the Unicorn video's again…" he commanded, and moved to his room for some proper sleep.

 ** _END~_**

 ** _AN: obviously this is based off of the first episode of Charlie the unicorn. Copy and paste this link in your browser to see the video~_**

 ** _watch?v=CsGYh8AacgY_**

 ** _if you liked this, please check out my other fanfictions posted on my account and most importantly, REVIEW ^J^_**

 ** _For those reading my other fic, Broken Promises, please note that it is kinda on hiatus. I am so sorry for not updating but I just, don't know where I want to go with it… I am accepting Ideas so if you have one PM me, or even just leave your idea in the reviews, I check them daily_** ** _J_** ****

 ** _Thankyou so much for your support~_**

 ** _PrussianBitch345_**


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